I actually have a lot on my mind today. I find that I use birthdays and holidays to reflect how my life has been since the last year. Have I lived the way I wanted to? Accomplished everything I set out to? Am I proud of how I've used the last 365 days?
On this exact day last year I got off work early, went to Wal-Mart and bought a black leather journal and found out that my bank turned me down for my home loan. I spent the majority of the drive home from Wal-Mart crying because I didn't think I would be able to get a home. I wrote in the brand spankin' new journal that this was the year I was going to grow-up and quit crying about stuff like this and figure out a solution. I ended up applying to another lender that offered FHA loans since my bank didn't and I've now been in the house for over 5 months! I'm definitely proud of myself for making that leap and buying a home.
There were several things that happened in the last year that I'm happy about, but for my 25th year I'm determined to do more with my life. I feel that I've become jaded working in an industry that can be pretty aggressive. (I negotiate contract language and budgets with pharmaceutical companies for the research site I work at). Sometimes I spend the majority of the day just arguing and going back and forth with people that are mad or stubborn or whatever and I get what S calls my "business Cassie" attitude on and I can get pretty mean. I'm good at my job, but sometimes that means I leave work knowing I haven't been as kind as I should have been.
So this year I want to be a nicer, kinder, more understanding person. I don't want to be so quick to judge others, because unfortunately this is the one quality I hate most about myself, and realize that I don't know these people that I'm quick to make assumptions about. I don't know what's going on in their lives or what they're dealing with. I think most people have a story to tell and that if we just took the time to listen we might realize we jumped to the wrong opinion.
I want to live in the moment more. I'm so very Type A and sometimes I get so caught up in my lists and quest for perfection that I forget that I'm not guaranteed tomorrow. So why waste today worrying about it? I'm also contemplating a new birthday tattoo. Something along the lines of living in the moment. I know I want it to be a saying or words and no color other than black. I just haven't decided on the exact thing for it to say yet.
I want to be better with this blog because I enjoy looking back and seeing who I was at a certain time. I can't really do that if I'm not posting very frequently.
I want to be a better friend that knows that no matter how busy I think I get, none of those things on my list matter if I lose my friendships.
I want to spend more time with the puppies. Take them for walks everyday. Love on them more.
I want to depend on my parents less, show them they raised a healthy, independent woman that truly can take care of herself.
I want to make my health a priority. So many times I find myself exhausted and just wishing I had more energy so I could do things like play with the dogs, meet friends for drinks, etc. I want to research those foods that give you energy and really make an effort to incorporate those into my diet and cut out the energy sapping fatty foods that I like the most.
I want to be more patient. Life isn't a race...it isn't about who gets there first, it's about living it. Sometimes I just need to stop and BREATHE.
I want to really find out what my passion in life is and pursue it. It used to be going to law school and making a difference by being an attorney. Since I was in the hospital when law school started and I now work with contracts all day, I've realized that it's no longer my passion. I'm seriously considering going back to school to become a nurse, probably a pediatric nurse, after experiencing first hand how amazing nurses truly are. They took care of me and advocated for me and I think I would finally be in a job that was rewarding to me. I've contacted a local hospital to participate in their shadowing program to make sure that this is truly something I want to do before going back to school-I'll keep you updated!
I know this post is super long-it was mostly for me, but thanks if you made it through! I want to come back to this post next year and see how I did. I want to make this the best year of my life to date :)