Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Today has been difficult for me. I had an appointment with my surgeon to discuss removing the scar tissue that's causing my pain in my side and he feels that surgery would be too dangerous. He's worried about puncturing intestine's and a bunch of stuff. It's frustrating to me because that means I have to use medicine to control the pain, which I HATE. I do not want to be on any medication long term whether it's narcotics, anti-inflammatory drugs, or whatever else they think will help. And my surgeon said he'd do the surgery if I really wanted him to, but with all the risks he was telling me about, I can't feel okay about the decision to have the surgery anymore. He's hopeful my adhesions will soften up over more time, so I've made the decision to go back to my gyno and discuss pain management with him. Anyway, this all put me in a crappy mood so all I wanted was to dive into a pint of ice cream and a large pizza when I got home. But, I couldn't because of my decision to cut that stuff out of my diet right now. I was really torn, but ended up not getting the ice cream or pizza. Instead I ate home. I didn't make healthy choices at home, but at least I don't have things that are that unhealthy in my house. I just ate large quantities of this stuff. However, I'm still proud that I didn't give in and break my promise to myself. This is the exact kind of day that I would use as an excuse to order order a large stuffed crust pizza, eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's and veg in front of the tv. I want to break that behavior and maybe I'm one step closer.