Wednesday, June 10, 2009

She said what?!?!?!

I really am interested in becoming the best possible person I can be and therefore have been looking for things that I can improve on. Lately one of my biggest struggles is...GOSSIPING. I don't mean to do it, but I've noticed that it's become a habit and one I'm very disappointed in myself for engaging in. It seems like it's so easy to get caught up in it when others start gossiping because I'm not exactly sure how to keep the conversation going but not join in. For example, work is probably where I notice this the most. If someone comes into my office and starts talking about another employee behind that person's back and then I don't join in and try to change the subject, I feel like it stalls the conversation and things become awkward. Or sometimes I start the gossip just to have something to talk about and connect with another person on. I know it's horrible of me. I need to find some way that I can still be kept in the loop about what's going on at work without engaging in all the petty he said/she said stuff. I guess my biggest worry is that I don't know what else to talk about sometimes, so something someone told me will just come out of my mouth. I want to have more integrity than that. I want to be known as a person that you can come to and speak freely to without having to worry that I'll go and tell someone else what you've said. I want to be known as the woman that you never hear say a negative word about someone else. I think that everyone has fallen into the tendency to gossip at one time or another, but for me it feels like it's an every SINGLE day thing and I leave work or hanging out with friends feeling guilty that I talked about someone I care about behind their back or divulged a secret that I shouldn't have. From this moment forward I'm making it my priority to be as aware of this habit as I can and to STOP it from happening. Wish me luck!

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