Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I'm in a funk

I know it's pretty obvious that I'm having trouble with this whole healthy lifestyle thing. Nearly all of my posts lately have been about how I've messed up and while I want to be positive, I just can't ignore the truth-that's I've been royally screwing up.

I'm not even sure what the problem is. I seem to be doing okay with this whole break up thing, but maybe I'm not. I'm eating much more than I was even a couple of weeks ago and I've noticed a tendency to get extremely irritated (although I happen to believe that's because extremely irritating things have been happening!). For example, I need to go month to month on my apartment lease for a while until I move later this year. Well the lease says that the month to month amount is $100 + market rent. Well I call this morning and they tell me that my rent is above market rent and that I have to pay that plus the $100, which is in direct conflict with the lease language! Then I find out that I have to give them 60 days notice of vacating on a MONTH to MONTH lease. Please explain to me why I have to give 60 days notice when I'm choosing to extend my lease by 30 days at a time...this apartment is hell and I CANNOT wait to be done with it. Hopefully it won't be too much longer.

I digress, the point of this post is to say that I'm sick of my attitude lately. I so very much want to be that person I envision in my head. I know that I can, but I've got make some really big changes. It's scary to think that so far from my goals, well maybe it's just overwhelming. There's nothing stopping me though and it's about time I get started!

Today has been fine so far when it comes to eating. It's only 9am so I've had a plain bagel toasted with peanut butter. I have a frozen meal for lunch so if I can avoid snacking, I'll be doing great!

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