Monday, April 13, 2009

I'm pretty darn proud of myself...

I really, really wanted to sleep in this morning and I kept thinking of all these reasons I would have to call into work. However, on my list is not calling into work for a year unless I'm absolutely too sick to come in, so I got my booty out of bed and came in. And...I'm really glad that I did. Once I was up and around, I had plenty of energy. I've also stuck to not saying one negative word at work so far today, so that's going really well too. It's funny how when you stop complaining so much, it becomes apparent how much everyone else complains. I didn't realize that some people were so negative, but I guess that's just because I was right there being cranky right along with them.

I'm having a pretty amazing day. I think I just needed a little bit of an attitude change and this weekend really helped me. I've been reading some great, positive blogs and making that list out really helped me to have tangible goals.

At lunch today I went to the mall and got my sunglasses fixed-they kept falling off my head whenever I wore them. So now I get to sport my cute glasses just in time for sunny spring! I also had a Victoria Secret free panty and $10 off a purchase card, so I picked up my panty and bought a sugar scrub for $10 so I got out of there without paying a dime! I had a free item with a $10 purchase at bath and body works, so I bought a candle and got a free bubble bath-which I hope to use this week! I also had a $10 off card to White House Black Market since my birthday is coming up, so I bought a really cute cami...it's was still almost $30 with the discount, but I love their clothes. When I get to my goal weight, I'm going to do the majority of my shopping there. I know it's really expensive, but the clothes are of an amazing quality and I look good in them for a long time. Whereas, I can buy cheaper clothing like at Old Navy (which I love), but it tends to fall apart and lose it's shape quicker. Hopefully, I can spend money on work clothes that will last and buy more inexpesive play clothes. And finally to end my lunchtime shopping hour, I bought myself a strawberry bannana smoothie from Frullati, which was beyond delicious!

I planned out my day to get alot of things taken care of because I always have a better day if I'm productive. So I took care of a bunch of things at lunch and then after work I'm going to deposit my birthday check from my grandparents and pick up some treats for Max. Then I'm walking Max and picking up the apartment before I meet two of my girlfriends for Starbucks-woohoo! I'm super excited because I hardly ever get to see them and I made them these cute little Easter baskets (yes, I'm aware I'm late with giving them the baskets, but I haven't seen them).

Yay for having great days!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

101 things in 1001 days

  1. Travel somewhere out of state with Max by myself
  2. Get a new girl puppy
  3. Order a magazine subscription 07-09-09 SHAPE
  4. Take up a new sporting activity (swimming, tennis, etc.)
  5. Pay off my car
  6. Go to the Zoo 07-05-09
  7. Get my makeup professionally done
  8. Take 50 new friend pictures (0/50)
  9. Take 20 new Max pictures (0/20)
  10. Don't complain for an entire day
  11. Complete the c25k program
  12. Run in a 5k
  13. Eat healthy for an entire week
  14. Customize blog
  15. Write in paper journal everyday for a month
  16. Print all pictures on camera -05-16-09
  17. File and organize all paperwork
  18. Eat a nice food place by myself
  19. Read 100 new books (8/100)
  20. Send a friend (Amber) a package just because -05-09-09
  21. Spend a whole day outside just hiking and taking pictures
  22. Go to a waterpark by myself 07-09-09
  23. Take a roadtrip
  24. Be true to myself
  25. Buy a little black dress and go somewhere fancy
  26. Decorate home
  27. Compliment 10 strangers (1/10)
  28. Try 30 new recipes (1/30)
  29. Buy a house
  30. Save $5000
  31. Start a Roth IRA
  32. Get medical records from both hospitals (Edmond DONE 05-11-09)
  33. Do something nice for my parents
  34. Wear a string bikini (no tankini's or skirt bottoms) in public and feel good about it
  35. Don't call into work unless actually sick for a year
  36. Compliment the people at work at least 10 times (5/10)
  37. Don't spend any money for a week
  38. Implement 5 new "green" strategies (1/5)
  39. Transfer CD's to Itunes
  40. Participate in a charity walk/run
  41. Make care packages for the troops
  42. Volunteer at free to live
  43. Volunteer at habitat for humanity
  44. Go to the aquarium
  45. Go to the Omniplex
  46. Blog everyday for a month June 3, 2009-July 3, 2009
  47. Go to Vegas
  48. Update passport
  49. Donate money to 5 good causes (1/5)
  50. Learn how to actually cut an onion
  51. Learn how to wrap a pretty present
  52. Go to Affair of the Heart
  53. Make 10 new desserts (0/10)
  54. Buy 5 items off Etsy to support crafters (1/5)
  55. Buy a painting from a artist
  56. Take and frame black and white photos (large) for home
  57. Go to OKC arts festival -04-25-09
  58. Go to a Thunder game
  59. Take a spin class
  60. Get to a healthy BMI
  61. Take a "secret" day off and do nothing but play with Max, watch movies and eat junk food
  62. Be more patient
  63. Treat my body right (get enough sleep, eat well, exercise, etc.)
  64. Get a clean bill of health and be off meds for at least 3 months
  65. Do Pilates or Yoga everyday for a month
  66. Do the 30 day Shred videos
  67. Clean up and customize Myspace and Facebook (add new photos, delete old messages, etc.)
  68. "Adopt" a child at Christmas
  69. Spend at least 6 mths being single and learning about myself
  70. Visit where I was born
  71. Visit the Eiffel Tower at night
  72. Go back to Hawaii and look at lava at night and climb Diamond Head
  73. Visit California Grandma
  74. Visit all NJ relatives
  75. Get engaged
  76. Take a cooking class
  77. Go to a church service
  78. Bring treats to work 5 times (0/5)
  79. Get at least 7 hours sleep everynight for two weeks
  80. Join a book club
  81. Catch up with an old friend
  82. Visit with Amber once a month for six months
  83. Find a new hobby
  84. Treat myself to a fancy dinner night (eat at the table with candles and good food)
  85. Start investing
  86. Drink nothing but water for a month
  87. Have friends over a for a girls night 5 times (0/5)
  88. Update my resume and apply to five jobs for practice (0/5)
  89. Make 10 new friends (0/10)
  90. Watch the dogs so my parents can go out of town
  91. Walk Max everyday for a month
  92. Do something for my friends just because 5 times (3/5)
  93. Don't say one negative word at work for a week
  94. Be more friendly and open
  95. Stop judging others
  96. Listen to 3 new books on tape (0/3)
  97. Get DVR
  98. Have an entire Spa Day
  99. Send out 5 letters (0/5)
  100. Use lotion after the shower everyday for a month (and hope my dry skin goes away!)
  101. Finish this list and start a new one
This list is inspired from a list that I read off my new favorite blog. If it all goes according to plan I should have the whole list completed by January 10th, 2012-wish me luck! I've decided to make this blog more about living the best life I can instead of just health and fitness...I hope you make your own list!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

I have a new source of inspiration

Well the bad news first: my stomach has really been bothering me lately. I'm not sure why, but if it doesn't get better soon I'll need to go back to the doctor.

The good news: I have three new motivational tools. The first is my mini goal rewards:
  • 185 lbs: massage
  • 180 lbs: New bookcase
  • 175 lbs: Prof. cut and color hair
  • 170 lbs: new outfit (including V.S. stuff)
  • 165 lbs: new bedframe
  • 160 lbs: new kitchen table
  • 155lbs: New outfit (including V.S. stuff)
  • 150 lbs: Spa day
  • 145 lbs: Northface jacket
  • 140 lbs: belly button pierced and/or Uggs
  • 132 lbs: new tattoo and/or vacation

My next motivational item is actually a person. Since this is a public blog, I'm going to be kind of discreet, but basically it's a woman that I see quite often. She's sort of the opposite of what I want to be. She makes really unhealthy choices in terms of what she chooses to eat-lots of pizza, pasta, cookies, soda, etc. She calls in sick to her office alot. She doesn't really make an effort with her appearance. And she weighs nearly what I do...therefore, it's pretty much like looking into a mirror. She makes lots of excuses for the way she looks-I try to lose weight, but it's impossible, I'm sick so I need to eat this or sleep in, etc. So when I'm about to make a bad choice I think if that is what she would do and then I do the opposite. If I want to sleep in and be late to work, I make myself get up. If I want to order a pizza and eat the whole thing by myself, I eat a sandwich instead. If I want to spend money I don't have on junk food and things I don't need, I think twice and put it back. I've known her long enough to see how her choices affect her body-gaining weight, complains alot, doesn't feel good, etc. I can see myself having done the exact same thing. I've put on alot of weight, I get sick to my stomach alot more since the gain, I have less energy, I make excuses...and it goes on and on. I haven't told this person that she's my motivation to do better and it's kind of unfair to her that I'm being so judgemental. It helps me to see what I shouldn't do though and the direct consequences of bad decisions, so I'm going to continue to make the best choices I can and remind myself that I can go look in that mirror if I think I'm not really that fat or that I can pull off the extra weight...because the honest truth is that I can't and neither can she.

My third motivational factor is something coming up in about 5 weeks. I really don't want to join this group of friends because I always feel like the fat and ugly one, but I've kind of been talked into it. I decided that at least that gives me five weeks to work out and eat healthy and try to make a difference in my body. Maybe once this activity starts, I'll have a little bit more of my self-confidence back and I'll truly be able to enjoy myself again. I hope so!

Monday, April 6, 2009

It's a Monday

I have two choices...I can dread the fact that it's Monday again and wish that I was at home in bed...or I can be thankful that I've been given another new day to live life as much as possible. I'm going to go with...option number 2!

I kind of put most of responsibilities on hold for the past week and a half while I read through the Twilight series. I was completely addicted! I had to force myself to go to sleep at night, to pay bills, etc. Everything else that could be put off, did get put off. My apartment is in need of some major cleaning, I need to start planning my meals again (because I always eat much better when I do), I need to start working out more, walking the puppy more, and just generally getting stuff done. I'm sad that I finished all the books, but at least I'll be able to focus on something other than Bella and Edward!

I'm toying with the idea of thinking up some mini-rewards for me when I reach certain weight loss goals. It would probably work well if I could wait to reward myself until I reach a certain goal, but I tend to get a pedicure or a massage or buy myself something I want whenever I feel like instead of waiting. Normally I don't buy anything too expensive so I'm not having to save for it so I just go and get it that day or the next day. For instance, I really want a massage right now and I'll probably end up getting one this weekend. I think it would be a good reward for my first mini-goal, but the reason I want one so bad is because I hurt my back last Friday somehow and I think it might help me to feel better. Hmmm I think I'll wait until I weight 180lbs. I will have lost a little over 10 lbs by then. Hopefully it comes soon!

Friday, April 3, 2009

I vow to be more positive

Ever since I decided to start a blog about this journey towards living a truly healthy lifestyle, I've been reading other weight loss blogs as well. I've realized that an astounding number of them are incredibly negative. Each day it's well I ate things I shouldn't have, or I didn't exercise again, or these are my excuses for not being healthy. As I was getting frustrated with their excuses and negativity, I realized that my blog has much of the same theme running through it. The blogs that I turn to for motivation are positive and up lifting-even though they make mistakes, it's the ones that are truly trying hard and making an effort that inspire me. Since my blog is still in the beginning stages, I'm making a vow now to be more positive and actually make the effort. So what if my running shoes were being ordered for a week? Instead of eating everything in site and not doing any exercise at all, I should have gone out for more walks, gone to the gym, continued my eating plan, etc. Now I have to spend more time trying to lose what I just gained back and that's so counterproductive. I'm not giving into to excuses anymore. I only have one life and this is it. I want to spend every moment I can knowing that I'm putting my all into living the best life possible. And when I eat a ton of junk food and don't exercise, my body rebels. I feel HORRIBLE-so tired and sick to my stomach that it's impossible to truly enjoy life.

I had a dream last night about getting a tattoo. I've been contemplating getting one for years now, but was never quite sure what I wanted to get. By the time I woke up I had a much more concrete design forming. I want it to be simple and express something of ME in it. I don't want a meaningless design just because it happens to be popular. I'm thinking of getting something with 3 or 4 words written in pretty script on my right lower back. Right now the words are: Love, Life, Persevere, and Dream. Love: it's pretty obvious. I have things that say love all around my apartment because it's so important. We all want to find true love for ourselves, but beyond that, we love our parents and friends and hobbies, etc. It's just so central to my life that it makes perfect sense. I'm also thinking of putting a little heart next to it. Life: I'm so lucky to be alive after what I went through with my appendix rupturing that I don't want to ever forget that. I need to really live this life because someone decided to give me a second chance for some reason and I'm not going to waste it. Persevere: perseverance has become a word that I think of all the time since I got sick. I was just trying to get from one day to the next for the longest time that it just became like a security blanket to me-I carried (and still do carry) that one word around in my head all the time. Now that I'm so much better I want to remember that when things do get tough to just persevere through it-because I am strong enough to and I will conquer whatever I need to. Dream: So many of dreams changed over the past few years. I couldn't start law school and go on to becoming an attorney, the person I thought I'd end up with showed me that he wasn't grown up enough to take that path with me, etc. I have new dreams now. I could go to law school, but I don't have that burning passion for it anymore. I truly like my job and am thinking that I'll probably go back and get my Master's instead of a law degree. I'm in a new relationship and I hope it has the potential to get me to my other dreams: getting married, having kids, buying a home, etc. I want to always remember to follow my dreams even if they seem crazy at the time (traveling to Paris, eating pizza and pasta in Italy, seeing where I was born in England) or silly (taking a cooking class, making a scrapbook, figuring out how to decorate my home in a design that makes me feel like I'm living in a place that I can truly relax and retreat) or if they change completely. I want to always keep dreaming and never settle.

So this has been extremely long...but positive. :)

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Arg!!!

Seriously? So I went running on the 26th of March and realized I needed a wide in my new shoes. So I got those ordered and didn't run for almost a week. I got my new shoes in last night and tried to go running and I couldn't even run for 45 seconds! It felt like the bones in both legs from the knee down were going to break. I have no idea what's wrong with me, but I could barely walk for 15 minutes and had to give up. I went home and took a hot shower and still had to take two advil to deal with the pain I had. I just hope I'll be able to get through it and start running again. It was becoming such an important part of my healthy lifestyle. And...I ate sooo much better when I was running on a schedule. This past week that I didn't go running, I gained back nearly the entire 5 pounds I spent the last two weeks losing. It just really sucks.

On top of all of that. I just feel tired. My body feels drugged for some reason. It doesn't seem to matter how much sleep I get-I'm still barely making it throughout the day. My stomach is bothering me much more and I just generally feel ill at ease in my own body. An educated guess would tell me that it's probably related to eating so much crap and not working out, but I'm so sluggish that I all I feel like doing is eating more crap and sleeping-doesn't help so much to break the cycle.

Okay, I'm done venting. Here's to getting back on track soon....
 
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